She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
Randomize
