At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
