She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
My vagina just recognized that song.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Randomize
