Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
Why can't burritos get me drunk
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
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