ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
