i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
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