AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Randomize
