did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
Randomize
