I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
Thank you for not boning my boss.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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