Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
