he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
