My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
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