WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
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