i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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