They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
