maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
