we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
