ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
