i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Randomize
