i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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