There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
The best revenge is premature balding
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
