just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
