Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
