i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
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