I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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