Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
Randomize
