My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
i think i just lost a toe
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Randomize
