Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
pray to the hookup gods
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
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