we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
Randomize
