So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Randomize
