Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Randomize
