I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
I'm always down for nudity.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
