the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
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