You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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