i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
