Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
You can't just leave with hair like that
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
Randomize
