that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
I have so many feelings about this burrito
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
