turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
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