Duck Duck Cougar?
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
Randomize
