i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
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