My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
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