This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
sex in a hospital.. check
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
Why is there bacon in the couch?
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Randomize
