Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
Randomize
