I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize