It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
Randomize
