you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
