Just mADE A PArabola og urine
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
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