so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Randomize
