The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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