Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
Randomize
