we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
