Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Randomize
