Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
