At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
