I just saw a hot homeless man
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
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