Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
my poor anus
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
Randomize