i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
Randomize
