We should be called the Road Head Warriors
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
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