why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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