I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
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