Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
