go do what you do best...puke behind churches
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize
